A 'Halo: ODST' Review
Submitted by gamerpaper on September 11, 2009
As long as game reviewers are lazy, there will be reviews that draw parallels between movies and games. And seeing as though we’re talking about people who write about an activity that burns less calories than chewing, here goes…
There are games and movies that are made by people who have a drive, a sheer primal need to share an experience with other people. They have a story to tell or a concept to share and they’ll battle against the odds to get their work out into the hands of the public. Guerilla artists, they’ll toil in obscurity, rope in anyone who’ll help and invest every cent of their own money into giving birth to their creation. These people will sweat blood, chew glass, crawl through barbed wire, debase and degrade themselves, call in every favor and sacrifice every comfort just to share a fragment of their souls with a largely indifferent world. And from this whirlwind of struggle and insanity and pain sometimes, just sometimes, genius emerges. True art of the highest and most pure form.
Then there’s the lazy, multi-million dollar blockbuster sequel/remake/adaptations pitched at the lowest common denominator as a sure fire financial investment to make a quick buck.
Guess which camp Halo 3 ODST falls into?
Let’s just say that between Michael Bay’s ‘Transformers 2 Revenge of the Fallen’ and Werner Herzog’s ‘Aguirre, der Zorn Gottes’, it’d be the one with the giant fighting robots in it.
The sad thing is that ‘Halo’ pretty much redefined the FPS genre. It had innovations such as recharging shields and a two weapon hold limit that in some way influenced almost every popular FPS game to follow. And then for some reason Bungie has dropped the innovation aspect and gone on to remake ‘Halo’ three times.
Don’t be fooled by the initials in the name or the change of main character. This game is ‘Halo 4’ aka ‘Halo’. If you’ve played the original game or any of its sequels, you’ve played this game. For better or worse.
Don’t get me wrong. This is not a bad game, not on any level. Just as ‘G.I. Joe’ has some pretty explosions in it, this game is technically proficient. You can see where the money went. The AI is fine. Enemies will occasionally sidestep when coming under heavy fire, just like real aliens. The sound is passable, the levels are well thought-out, the gameplay is as slick as you’d hope, given that Bungie has had eight years to refine it. The graphics, though dark, are nice enough. And when I say ‘dark’, I mean it. There’s a toggle mode on your character’s helmet to brighten darker areas and highlight enemies and it is helpful. But even still, in some of the unlit interiors you’ll feel like Stevie Wonder playing a survival horror game in a blackout.
It’s all fine, you just might have hoped that Bungie had tried something a bit different. There are some alight differences, but you quickly realize that they are all superficial, the core experience hasn’t changed a jot. This is lazy game design. Bungie is giving just enough to make a game that will sell based on its branding alone. But that’s all. They’re all bark and no bite. They’ve brought the steak, but not the sizzle. They’ve brought the analogy, but not the snappy punchline.
There is a fairly thin story to the single player campaign. My version only had French audio for some reason, so I spent the whole game feeling as though I should either run away or surrender. However, I had English subtitles so I could follow the plot. You play most of the game as ‘The Rookie’, presumably the same nameless, faceless, voiceless guy called ‘The Rookie’ that you played in ‘Ghostbusters’. The game will also drop you into other characters shoes in flashback sections. Nice idea! So…this new character serves as an opportunity to change up the gameplay, right? Wrong, my naïve friend. They play exactly the same as The Rookie, who plays exactly the same as Master Chef from the first three games.
Everything is the same. You have the same ‘shields over health bar’ system. You still carry enough ammo to gun down about two to three enemies before scavenging for dropped weapons (a strange tactical decision – to drop into a war zone with less ammo than you’ll use in half of your first firefight). There are no collectibles or RPG elements so at the end of the game you’re essentially playing exactly the same experience as the first level. The first level of ‘Halo’, that is. Everything is just…the same.
The multiplayer has always been where it’s at for Halo, and this version is no exception. There are more maps, more modes and more difficulty tweaks than in previous Halos. So yes, it’s more fun with other people. But then, what isn’t ? Even sex is, I’ve heard.
So you’re probably reading this review to find out if you should spend your hard-earned cash on this game. I refer you to my handy chart below:
BONUS REVIEW:
Speaking of movies. Do you believe in the concept of ‘so bad it’s good’? Can you get a kick out of watching, say, ‘Plan 9 From Outer Space’? Then rent, DO NOT BUY, but rent ‘Raven Squad’. Holy shit! It’s a neat little idea, a blend of FPS and RTS that isn’t pulled off very well. In fact, it’s pretty awful. But forget all that, this game needs to be experienced for the voice acting alone. You’ll barely believe your ears.
I don’t get it. You don’t get your marketing guys to design your graphics and you don’t get your coders to write your soundtrack. So why would you then go and get the mailroom guy to voice your main character? You owe it to yourself to check this game out. The main guy makes Chuck Norris sound like an actor. Honestly, they’d have been better off getting Professor Steven Hawking in the sound booth.
This review was written by the very talented Rob 'Uberman' Cummins, you can check out his other reviews here!
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User Comments+ Add Comment
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brayd1377 - 6:21 pm - September 11, 2009.
Good review
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jleack - 2:13 pm - September 12, 2009.
Outstanding review. It was interesting to read throughout.
Thanks for having the guts to be honest. Nothing like honest and accurate journalism.
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doa766 - 2:13 pm - September 12, 2009.
it's hard to take this review seriously when you played a pirated copy of the game (the famous french audio copy from many torrent sites)
that also means you haven't played any multiplayer which is the reason why most people will be buying this game and yet you're still giving your opinion as if you have seen everything it has to offer
sad
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uberman - 5:04 am - September 13, 2009.
It's hard to take a comedy review seriously, eh ? Say it aint so.
For the record, this is a review of a store-bought full copy of the game with multiplayer played over LAN. Sorry fanboy.
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AlibyebyeEssmob - 10:03 am - September 16, 2009.
No way is this a store-bought copy. "had French audio for some reason?" Could that reason be that you illegally downloaded and played the well-known, leaked French version?
Nice try, but no, this is not a review of a legit copy. If it is, please, provide proof and apologies will be given.
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AlibyebyeEssmob - 10:06 am - September 16, 2009.
Annnnd just like that, I realize this is a joke review...Doh.
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uberman - 11:03 pm - September 16, 2009.
Well, let me tell you a story about most of the world. See, most of the world isn't the USA. And when you live in 'most of the world', like say Bangkok where I live, you don't get English audio on all games. You get an ensemble of foreign languages, from Japanese and Korean to French, German and Spanish. Because game developers (understandably) don't make Thai language games. This certainy isn't the first non-English game I've played, and won't be the last.
The box and the disc both have printed conpyright warnings on them. I doubt that pirates would print that on a disc for me to buy from a shop. It seems ... counterproductive.
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Joereel90 - 1:43 am - September 20, 2009.
Hate to break it to you uberman, but ODST hasn't even been legally released in any countries yet. The US will be getting it first by the way. And I don't understand how you can play random formatted games on you xbox?! I have tried plenty of times and I can only play games that fit the format of my xbox. If you live in Thailand then you should only be able to play games in that reg format. I'm not calling you a liar I'm just confused?
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